Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
