He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
