Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
