He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
