At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
