I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
