Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
