I just saw a hot homeless man
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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