god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
