I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
