Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
