yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
