how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
