She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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