Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
