It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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