Welp...herpes.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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