he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
