I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
