Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
