apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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