those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The uberlube is also flammable
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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