i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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