If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
