i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
