If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
