can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
PANTIES FOUND
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