why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
