Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
