Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
