apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she looked like the before picture.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
