Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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