True but thats because hes a fetus.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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