lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
