i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
