It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
