"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
