How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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