Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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