at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
