just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
