literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
