I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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