We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
