do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
