dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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