told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
how drunk are you?
Several
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
