I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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