you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
