if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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