So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Mom said you looked used
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
