Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
