people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
